Sign on the dotted line....

Last night Luke and I signed our Adoption Decree along with other court documents.  We sat the kids down and discussed with them what we were signing.  We read through the documents of their old names and what their new names were going to be.

We also explained to them what a birth certificate was.  We told them that it was a piece of paper to prove that you were born.  We also said that their old one had their bad Mommy's name on it because they came out of her tummy.  Little R looked at me and said, "Well sometimes people can be born big- like us."  I was thinking...ummm I hope not! LOL!  Little A told us she wished she was born from my tummy.  I told her the same thing, but it just didn't happen that way.

I took pictures of each of us signing the documents.  We told the kids that this new piece of paper would look to everyone else like they were born from my tummy.  That they have always been our kids.  Their old names would go away and they would be have brand new names.  They were extremely excited.

It was also heartbreaking to have to explain that to their young faces.  No kid should ever have a "bad" home.  No kid should have to realize that their birth certificate is being changed- even if it's changed for the better.  This is a messed up world we live in today.  I may not have given birth to my two kids, but they are ours none-the-less.

So, bring on the new names and new birth certificates.  We're ready to become officially a family of 4!

Name that part....

Yesterday, the kids and I stopped by Sonic to get some protein before heading to the Travs game.  I ordered us a 5 pack of Chicken Strips to split.  Not healthy really, but easy.  We started off down the road when R asked me what a Chicken Strip was.  I told him it was chicken.  I knew he wouldn't stop there.

 He said, "Yeah Mom, but what KIND of chicken." 

I said well, "I'm not sure if it's a boy or girl, if that's what you're asking." 

Well, that didn't satisfy him either.  In between crunching and smacking he asked, "Well, what body part does a Chicken strip come from?"

 I concentrating on driving in 5 o'clock traffic said, "It comes from a Chicken Tender." 

"Well, what's a chicken tender?"  he asked.  

Without thinking, I said, "It's a piece of a Chicken Breast."  Immediately I knew this was going no where good.  Hoping he'd forget about it, I handed him some more ranch. 

"Well, what's a breast?"  Ummm.... long pause here.  "Well it's a part of a chicken."

"Yeah, but what kind of breast and where is it at on a chicken?"

"Well, it's on the chest of a chicken."  I'm totally hoping we'd just drop this at this point. 

"Chicken's have chests?"  R asked. 

"Yes, R, and please eat so we can get to the game."  Thankfully that was the end of our Chicken Breast debate.  However, last night Luke asked them what kind of snack they had today at Sonic.  Little R looks at his Daddy all proud and with a big grin says, "We had Chicken Chest." 

Wow. 

The Reason behind the blog...

Even though I don't feel the need to post this entry, I want too.  It was brought to my attention through a hurtful comment about how I wasn't being a good parent to these kids.  I just have one thing to say to whoever the "Anonymous" commenter was.  Really?  Have you ever walked a day in my shoes? 

How can someone judge me and not even sign their name.  That's just cowardly and uncalled for.  The ONLY reason I have a blog is so I can someday scrapbook our daily life events.  If it's a public blog well then so be it.  I was told I was being too negative about my kids.  Well to say this whole adoption journey has been all roses and sweet smelling things would totally not be the truth.  It's been extremely hard and daunting at times.  We've gone through ups and downs and trying times.  Adopting older kids is VERY hard.  Am I always cut out for the job? Well, no.  Will I always do things like "everyone" else?  Umm...no.  And in fact I've never been one to fit anyone's mold.  I've done things unlike everyone else because I simply want too.  I was never one to follow a crowd in school.  I did my own thing.   Is there a such thing as a perfect parent?  Well, I haven't met one yet. 

There is no parenting book to cover all of our issues.  Trust me, we've both read numerous ones.  Some things work, others don't.  We may parent differently than you did your own kids, but is that really any of your concern?  It shouldn't be. 

Am I control freak?  Maybe, do I like to have things a certain way- who doesn't.  I'm human.  Our kids operate well on a schedule.  They like knowing what comes next.  What foods we are going to eat that day and when.  Did your kids talk about their "bad" home?  Did they tell you things that will make your hair curl and you get so angry at another person for hurting your child?  I doubt it.

So, instead of judging me, why don't you pray for me and Luke.  That's what we really need.  And, from now on, if you can't say anything nice- well then please don't say anything at all.  I'm not angry at you, I simply think Satan used you to get under our skin.  So, from here on out, this won't bother me anymore.  I know we are doing what the Lord called us to do.  It has nothing to do with you. 

Fun Filled Family Day...

Yesterday, our family spent the whole day together.  We went to counseling that morning- which is being moved out to every 2 weeks.  We can do this- I know we can- it just makes me a little nervous.  The kids are doing great in counseling.  I've seen massive strides in R over the past few days.  He actually visited with the counselor and with our adoption specialist in the past few days.  In fact, he gave our adoption specialist a hug before she left.  That was HUGE!

We went to the Museum of Discovery yesterday afternoon.  Was it worth the $40 bucks we spent to get in?  Probably not.  We did have fun though.  Sometimes I think Luke enjoyed it more than the kids and me.  The kids are getting more comfortable trying new things.  Little A was glued to me all through the museum.  She loved looking at the animals the most.  Little R loved hanging out with Luke and doing all the scientific exhibits.  After the MOD, we went to lunch at the Flying Fish.  Luke and I love to eat there.  The kids were amazed by their kids meals.  They came in paper boats.  It was fun to watch. 

After Flying Fish, we headed to Toys R Us to get the kids backpacks for school.  Little R picked out Mario Brothers while little A went straight for Ariel.  Well, that is after a little negotiation about how Barbie probably wouldn't last through the school year with her braided hair.  I think they were happy with their choices.

That afternoon, we went to the swimming pool to start swimming lessons with PaPa.  Dad taught me how to swim and I want the kids to know that skill also.  They are really unsure at first.  Swimming in water is a BIG trust issue.  We've been talking with both kids about commands versus a question.  They are beginning to learn that when we ask them to do something, it's not always a negotiation.  I was shocked to have spent most of the time with R yesterday in the pool.  He kicked with the best of them and really came a HUGE way in trusting me.  It really was amazing to watch.  By the end of the day, both were jumping off the edge of the pool- in the shallow water of course.  I think by the end of the summer they will really get the hang of it.  It was a fun filled family day!

Lessons from Peeing on your carpet?!

Yes, you read my title right- peeing on your carpet.  Little R and I have worked all day trying to get out a very distinct smell from his room.  I noticed it yesterday while cleaning.  I couldn't put my finger on the smell, so I got down like any good Mom would do, and put my nose to the floor.  Yep, by his bed I smelled pee. 

Luke happened to pick him up from daycare yesterday- yes, I said daycare- don't judge me.  Luke got several stories about how pee happened to end up on his carpet.  Apparently little R didn't want to get up and go to the bathroom because his door was closed.  So, he "fell" off of his bed and decided to do it right there.  On my cleaned carpet.  To say I was angry was an understatement.  I work my tail off at home to make our house look nice. 

So, last night little R learned how to use the carpet cleaner.  After he was in bed, did he get up again for his nightly- "I have to tell you something," or "I need a drink" or scream for 3 hours- nope, he went right to sleep. 

This morning we went and did our job cleaning someone else's house.  He did an awesome job on the baseboards and hard to reach places.  When we got home today, he had to clean the carpet again with a solution I found on Pinterest to get the smell out.  Is it still there?  Yep, sure is.

He asked me again if I was mad.  I told him "Yes son, I'm mad at you.  I still love you, but I'm extremely mad that you decided to use the carpet as your potty."  We have had a good day talking things out, but still am I mad- heck yeah! However, I do love our talks about the issue.  I've brought up zoo animals, our dogs, and just plain pigs to make my point.  Little R didn't think the idea of living in a dog house sounded too cool.  I sure hope he doesn't do this again, but who knows- he might.  We just have to love him through it and teach him right from wrong.  Crazy little dude. 

This whole foster/adopt thing is hard.  The kids don't understand some things that a "normal" kid would.  They don't have a currency you can pull away to make an impact.  They have stolen things from family and us.  They have lied more times than you can count, and they have been horribly disrespectful. 

On the flip side, they have loved us more than any two kids can.  They say it all the time- sometimes to manipulate- which doesn't work.  I put myself in their shoes daily.  They were left with us to learn to trust, obey, and love.  We are working on the first two, but the last one- well they do with all their hearts. 

That's the thing I need to hold dear.  They love us and are learning to trust.