The past year has been horribly hard for me and Luke. My brother passed away in December, and on February 19th, Luke and I went through something no parent should ever have to go through. I haven't been able to formulate our story lately, but here's to a good try!
On the week of February 19th, we received a call from DHS stating that they wanted to meet with us. This was nothing new to us- being adopted parents. We met with the head of adoption for Arkansas as well as another DHS employee. I handed them a paper that stated everything we had tried, been taught by therapists, the therapists seen, etc. in the 2.5 years that we had had the kids. We explained to them that we were at the end of our rope in trying to help Robert. Nothing we were doing was helping and we honestly didn't know where to go from there. We explained to them that our therapist decided that residential care would be a great option for him. We were going to follow that path for Robert.
The head of adoption for the state did not want to hear the Reactive Attachment Disorder diagnosis. She said we knew about it before we adopted them- which we did not. I quickly pulled out his psyc. evaluation. She said RAD was an old diagnosis- not used much anymore. She and the other employee told us that they would have an interdivisional staff meeting to see where they could help us. She said that it looked like we had covered our basis, etc. We actually thought they were going to help us....boy were we ever wrong.
Two days later, we received notes on our door as well as phone calls from an investigator. We were being investigated for child abuse. This investigator along with a supervisor went to the school and interviewed both kids. Robert and Asia both told numerous lies that day. When the investigator showed up at our house, she was less than friendly. We were then interrogated in our kitchen. She asked about the numerous things Robert had told her. He stated we locked him in his room at night, didn't feed him meals, and gave him chores. These said chores would later be called "adult" chores.
We quickly explained their RAD diagnosis. The investigator didn't want to hear about any diagnosis. She accused us of giving up on Robert. She said we were simply not helping him etc. We tried to explain away his lies....but she simply would not listen.
Later that evening, we received the phone call that they were removing the children from our home for a 72 hour hold. Little did I know- I really thought it was 72 hours. We packed the kids clothes, gave them pictures of us, fed them dinner, and had them each pick a toy to take with them. Luke and I remained calm and explained to them that we didn't understand why this was happening. We prayed protection over them and reminded them that we loved them. Little did we know, that when they left that night- it would be the last time we would ever see them.
Fast forward 6 months. Luke and I have spent a ton fighting DHS in an uphill battle. We have had numerous deposition of DHS employees. In fact, 3 DHS employees said there was no physical immediate danger in our home. Therefore, they shouldn't have removed the kids in the first place. There are so many rules that saline county DHS failed to follow. Of course, they will never admit their mistakes.
So, after long deliberation and prayer, Luke and I have decided to walk away from both children. We cannot financially fight the system any longer.
Luke and I are devastated. We desperately want to be parents. We never once treated our children wrongly. We only tried to help them. We feel like a failure to the kids when in all reality- the system failed the kids. People are led to believe that DHS is there to help- well, we
haven't seen it at all. For months, I begged for help for the kids. We
received nothing. DHS only cares about the bottom line....the longer
they keep kids in care, the more money they receive from the federal
government.
So, this will all end hopefully before the year is up. We know the Lord has a plan, we just aren't sure what that is right now. We do know that both kids were saved while in our home.....and as we say in the Kingdom- if only just for one. So, if that was the reason they were in our home- then their salvation is sealed. Glory to God for that!
