Seeing Changes....

We've had a great couple of days with the kids.  Their manners are improving, the lying has gotten better, and the complaining isn't as often.  It's the small things.  Yesterday, was a rough day for me and Luke regarding an incident that was out of our control.  When other people choose to stick their nose in your business, well, it sometimes can make things seem like something they aren't. 

After a rough morning, we went together to our first parent/teacher conference.  Both teachers had awesome things to say about the kids.  Our girl's teacher even stated that me and our little girl looked a lot alike.  I thought that was pretty cool.  Both kids are doing great academically and in school.  We are blessed to have great teachers we both seem to like!

As Luke and I were leaving the school yesterday, we stopped to see our little girl's artwork on the wall.  It was for St. Patrick's Day (or Leprechaun Day as our little boy called it).  They had to write a small paragraph about what was better than gold.  Our little girl wrote with several misspelled words, "God is better than gold because he died on the cross."  I got tears in my eyes.  I looked at Luke and said, "We must be doing something right."

On the way to school this morning, we have started talking about what we can do to help someone else.  In other words, what can you do nice for someone.  We talked about several things on the way to school.  When the kids got out, our little boy waited for the girl in front of him to go in.  He waited to open the door for her.  I was so proud of him, and the choice he decided to make!

In Bible Study, we're doing a study on Nehemiah.  I was really struggling from yesterday about the attack we seem to be under lately. In the  study this morning I was reminded of Nehemiah's faithfulness to remember the Lord and pray about everything.  Rebuilding the wall of Jerusalem was a daunting task, but it was one the Lord called him to do.  The workers grew weary of removing the rubble from the old wall.  They were under constant attack, but they kept the faith and kept building that wall.

The Lord reminded me this morning- He's called us to do this.  He's called us to remove the rubble from these kids lives.  It's a daunting task- one that oftentimes has left me wondering why we even chose to do this.  I was reminded that I, like Nehemiah, have to keep the faith.  I also have to be on guard.   These men  rebuilt that wall while on guard.  They worked one hand on the wall, and one hand on the sword.  Luke and I have to work the same way- one hand on removing the old rubble from the kids past- work through it- all the while having our hand on the sword.  We know we're under attack from Satan- and we also know we have God on our side.  If He's for us, who can be against us!

A Good Day...

Today has been a great day with the kids.  I choose to cherish today as a good day.  Mainly because the good days are few and far between as of lately.  The kids have had a horrible time with entitlement, lying, and complaining these past few weeks.  It's been a roller coaster of emotions for our whole family.  We have found that chores and manners go a long way when we choose to use them.

I haven't had much to blog about lately- mainly because I can't seem to get my thoughts written down the way I want them to be.  This journey has been stressful and really trying for me the past few weeks. I feel like I've been simply surviving.

 Today, I see a small turning point.  There were no tears today when asked to do chores for our bad behavior.  They both had good days at school- which were rewarded with ice cream at the Salem Dairy Bar.

I have made a decision to look on the bright side today.  Today, I was able to just enjoy being with the kids instead of having to be a "mean" Mommy.  We laughed as we smeared ice cream all over our faces.  They said Thank You- and meant it.  They even thanked me for making them dinner.

It's been Williams Bootcamp the past few weeks here at the house. We have, however, had a few positive days.  Last Saturday, we went to the Daffodil Festival at Old Washington.  The kids ate huge corn dogs and had funnel cakes.  We listened to music and looked at the arts and crafts.  We even visited the Bass Pro Shop and ate Mexican for dinner.  It was a great family fun day.

I'm looking forward to more days like today.  Relaxing, fun, and just enjoying them for once.  Maybe they might even enjoy me too!  Our little girl says all the time, "Mom, you're the best Mom ever!"  I have decided instead of getting tired of hearing that, I'd better enjoy it.  One day, she might not say that to me ever again! LOL!

A Dog named Breezie....

Luke and I finally decided to try out an inside dog for our family.  We were FINALLY approved for the ARFA organization for rescues.  My gosh, I've never been turned down from so many places trying to adopt a dog before.  Not to toot my own horn- but to turn us down from rescuing a dog?!!  Seriously?!!! 

So, a lady is bringing Breezie out to meet our family on Saturday.  I actually allowed myself to get excited about it yesterday.  I went to Target and bought her a bed.  I've been looking at collars and crates to see what would work best.  She's a Yorkie/Dauschand Mix.  I've never had either of these breeds before.  I really wanted a Cocker Spaniel, however, it seemed like the Lord didn't want me to have one right now! 

I'm not sure how she's going to do with the kids.  It will be a trial run for sure.  Luke expects her to stay- so I'm allowing myself to think that way too.  I've missed my Madison for 4 months now.  I still cry when I think about her and miss the companionship so much!  All of our outside dogs are "special needs" and older.  I think having a young one for the kids to grow up with will be awesome.  She only weighs 8.5 lbs.  I've NEVER had a dog this small- we are big dog people.  It's amazing how small everything is for her!  I'm hoping she'll be a great travel dog as well!

Here's to hoping she's Breezie Williams soon.  She's got to have a middle name though- all of ours do!

Funny Sayings from Kids...

The kids have been saying things off and on that just crack me up.  I wanted to write them down so I could remember them.  Also, we've had some really sweet things said to us that I'd like to remember too.

1.  Our little boy looked horrified at Cracker Barrel when I ordered catfish.  When it came to the table, he asked me, "Mom, are you eating Cat or Fish?" When I told him it was both, he said, "Oh you're eating George and Aly?!!!"  We tried to explain to him that Catfish were actually fish, but I'm not sure if he got it or not.

2.  Popeyes- otherwise known to our little boy as Poke-ies.  He asked if we were going to eat at Poke-ies.  Ummm....no.

3.  When I took our little girl to the foot dr. the other day.  We were looking at all the gross videos and pictures.  She looked on the wall where they had items for sale.  Her eyes got huge and she said, "Oh no Mom!  Someone's foot fell off.  I bet that hurt a lot!"  I was trying not to laugh when I noticed a foot model for Diabetic socks.  It was a plastic foot!

4. Our little boy has been saying, "Ummm, Ahhh" before every sentence and thought.  We told him the other day to stop saying that because it was really annoying.  He paused and said, "Ok, I'm just going to say Umm Ahh in my head. Ok?"  Yeah sure, whatever!

5.  After a really rough night with our little boy, he came in the next morning and said, "Mom, I wish I had lived here since a baby.  I wish you'd had me as a baby."  After I picked my heart up off the floor, I told him that I did too.  I wish all the bad stuff hadn't happened to him.  I told him that that would never happen here at our house. However, all the bad stuff that happened to him would one day make him a better person.

Court...

Luke and I drove over 3 hours to get to court yesterday with the kids.  We were set up with snacks, a timer, reward charts, and a portable dvd player.  It was a great day for behavior with the kids.  They did wonderful considering the circumstances of spending all day in the car.

When we got to court- we weren't surprised it was running late.  Well, we didn't know how late.  We waited over 3 hours- without being able to go get lunch.  I was so thankful I had packed many snacks in the car.  It was very hard going into that court room knowing that this is where it all began for our kids.  This is where they lost their parents, found a wonderful foster mom, and yesterday were able to set up their forever family date.

It was also extremely stressful for me and Luke.  Not only were we terrified of running into their bio family- we don't even know what they look like or who they are!  So, everytime someone would look at the kids, I was immediately on the defensive.  I felt like we were a deck of cards- only I didn't have any cards or even the upper hand!

We saw many people and situations yesterday that were hard to take in.  Our little boy immediately shut down as we walked into the court house.  He was back to his shy self and only nodding his head.  I was just trying to hold it all together.  They sat in our laps most of the day.  The sweetest thing I saw was our little boy laying his head on his Daddy's shoulders and just resting. 

When we finally were able to go into the court room, I was a nervous wreck.  My poor stomach was in knots, I had no idea what to expect.  Our little girl never let go of my hand the entire time.  The judge was SUPER nice and soft spoken.  They read over what the kids had been through as far as the court system went.  He told the kids that he was sure things had definitely changed for the better for them.  We set up our "gotcha" date.  The social worker wanted it set for 8:30 am.  she told the judge I loved Branson- and she wanted us to make a weekend out of it.  He just laughed, looked at Luke and said, "I think your wallet is going to get a little lighter."  And with that, it was over.

We walked back to the car hand in hand- as a family.  We immediately went to Sonic where the kids got Corn Dog Wacky Packs.  Luke and I had trouble eating as our stomach was still in knots.  My root beer and I had a moment in the parking lot.  I was finally able to breathe again.

We headed home and stopped only once to eat at a Chinese Buffet.  The kids were once again their new selves full of laughter and picking on one another.  I hope someday they realize how blessed they are- but in the reality of things, it's really Luke and I who are blessed!  

Being Real....

I was thinking back today on our whole adoption journey.  Nothing can prepare you for the ups and downs of this process.  It's like a roller coaster where your heart is heavily involved.  There's the waiting, thinking, praying, picking, training, and then you finally get to meet your kiddos!

It's hard to believe we've only had the kids a little over a month.  They just seem to fit with us.  I wouldn't trade the craziness, 9 thousand loaves of pb&j's, or 10 hundred loads of laundry for anything.  Being a stay at home Mom has been my dream job all along- and I'm living it.

I guess if I had any advice to share with someone about to go down the road of adoption, it would be to pray!  Find you a support group of other people going through the same thing.  Luke and I are so blessed to be part of a small group of foster and adoptive parents.  It's even with a  couple we went to high school with- which I think is extra special and cool.

Another piece of advice is: be yourself and stick to your guns about what's right and wrong for your kids.  Your family won't always understand why you are doing what you're doing.  They will question and offer advice, but you have to know what works for your kids and what doesn't.  In one month, Luke and I had our lives turned upside down- for the better.  We rarely can stay up past 8:30- or at least I can't anymore.  We watch TV now in the bedroom.  We eat every meal saying a small simple blessing with the kids.  Our lives were forever changed by these two precious ones.  I thank the Lord every day for bringing them into our lives.

I went to visit the cemetery yesterday.  Someplace I haven't been in a very long time.  I took flowers to my Grandma and PaPa.  It was my first time being there as a Mom.  They adopted some years ago, and I still wonder to this day what they would have to say about our journey.  Aunt Debbi and Uncle Will are right across the street from Grandma and PaPa.  We had a chat yesterday too.  I wonder what Aunt Debbi would think about having our little girl as her namesake.  What I wouldn't give to have these 4 people just hug our kids once.  How precious would that be!

So, if you know of anyone taking the road of adoption, offer them your prayers and encouragement.  They are in for the rides of their lives.  They do not need your advice or arguments.  They only need support-positive support.  You may not understand why you have yet to meet their kids, or why they no longer return phone calls the way they used to, you may not even understand or support their decisions in how they parent.  Just know they are trying to do their best- and the best that you can do for them is offer prayers or encouragement.

Our little boy has a new chore every morning- he has to clean out the litter box.  I, on one hand, love the fact that I don't anymore!  He stopped the other morning, looked at me and said, "So that's why Aly has a hole under her tail.  It's for the litter box!"  Ummm... yeah. Really!

Our little girl loves setting the table.  I have silver ware that Aunt Debbi bought us when we got married.  It has flowers on it.  Our little girl loves the pretty forks and always makes sure me and her get that one. 

I've learned to smile on the little things, let other things go, and love my children everyday.  It's not always easy, but it's so worth it to be doing what God called us to do!

A New Dog....Maybe.....

Unbeknown to Luke, I've been looking at rescue sites the past week or so for dogs.  Normally, I wouldn't look for dogs on a site- they usually come to me.  Our little Madison has been gone for 3 months now.  Even though our house is full of chaos from the kids, I really think I'm ready to love something else.  I miss the companionship that I had from Madison.  I know we have 4 dogs outside, and I love them all just the same.  However, it's just different.  The outside dogs are so "special needs" that bringing one of them inside would upset the whole apple cart- especially for our little Snoopy.

So, I've filled out two adoption applications through CARE- Central Arkansas Rescue Effort and Helping Hands for Little Paws.  One is a Cocker Spaniel- near and dear breed to my heart.  Another is a throw away mix named Helen.  I want what the Lord wants.  If one of these dogs is meant for us- then it will work out.  If not, He'll send someone our way that needs us.  He has a way of doing that with our family- whether it be kids or animals.  He's good like that!