Even though I don't feel the need to post this entry, I want too. It was brought to my attention through a hurtful comment about how I wasn't being a good parent to these kids. I just have one thing to say to whoever the "Anonymous" commenter was. Really? Have you ever walked a day in my shoes?
How can someone judge me and not even sign their name. That's just cowardly and uncalled for. The ONLY reason I have a blog is so I can someday scrapbook our daily life events. If it's a public blog well then so be it. I was told I was being too negative about my kids. Well to say this whole adoption journey has been all roses and sweet smelling things would totally not be the truth. It's been extremely hard and daunting at times. We've gone through ups and downs and trying times. Adopting older kids is VERY hard. Am I always cut out for the job? Well, no. Will I always do things like "everyone" else? Umm...no. And in fact I've never been one to fit anyone's mold. I've done things unlike everyone else because I simply want too. I was never one to follow a crowd in school. I did my own thing. Is there a such thing as a perfect parent? Well, I haven't met one yet.
There is no parenting book to cover all of our issues. Trust me, we've both read numerous ones. Some things work, others don't. We may parent differently than you did your own kids, but is that really any of your concern? It shouldn't be.
Am I control freak? Maybe, do I like to have things a certain way- who doesn't. I'm human. Our kids operate well on a schedule. They like knowing what comes next. What foods we are going to eat that day and when. Did your kids talk about their "bad" home? Did they tell you things that will make your hair curl and you get so angry at another person for hurting your child? I doubt it.
So, instead of judging me, why don't you pray for me and Luke. That's what we really need. And, from now on, if you can't say anything nice- well then please don't say anything at all. I'm not angry at you, I simply think Satan used you to get under our skin. So, from here on out, this won't bother me anymore. I know we are doing what the Lord called us to do. It has nothing to do with you.
3 comments:
I would like to strongly shame the Anonymous who was so rude and hurtful to my friend Melissa. Shame on you. You have NO IDEA who you are criticizing.
Melissa is MY friend and I strongly admire how she and Luke have opened their hearts and home to these children. How blessed they each are to have each other.
Adelle
I have tried to keep up with your blog some ever since someone told me that you are trying to adopt. I thought I would leave you some encouragement. Me and you never got off on the right foot in our early adult life but regardless of that time, I commend you on doing the biblical thing. It says in James 1:27 that we are to take care of the widows and the orphans. There are plenty that can share their opinion on this subject but few are traveling this same road as you. I plan on adopting one day after my little girls are older. I made this decision years ago after placing my son for adoption. I know God is leading me in that direction. My BFF from church is a foster mom. I get to see first hand the children that come through her doors. Some have stayed for a couple of years. And most are so badly abused emotionally and physically, it’s hard for me to comprehend. She had 2 little girls come to stay with her that were so far gone behavior wise that it has made me question the idea of adoption. After a couple of years they were much better but still there is a lot that they still struggle with and probably will for a long time. Sometimes they would revert back to the old bad behavior but they had definitely improved and learned through my friend that they can love and trust for the first time and for once they could be just normal kids. They had to learn that not all adults are bad. They will probably hold onto that baggage for a good while until they grasp the concept that Jesus can deliver them from that…all of it. That’s what I hope for with you and your kids. I don’t expect it to be easy for you, not even close. But in the end if they stand up and say I love the Lord and He is my savior, then you will know all of it was worth it. This time may be hell right now but God will get you guys through it and will help you mold these 2 little ones into Christians who will have an amazing testimony. As Revelation 12:11 says, They triumphed over him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony.
P.S. If you are sharing these details on FB I would like to ask to be a friend if you don’t mind? I can keep up with how its going, how bout it?
-Sandra Flannagan (Lapp)
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