Learning in the process....

The past month since the adoption finalized has been a whirlwind here in the Williams household.  Behaviors have been ramped up, peeing in the house is happening more,  defiance is well known, and lying has reared its ugly head again.  The kids are trying to push us to see if we will break.  Trust me, over the past month I've been bent over severely but am still standing.  There were times I thought I would break, times I wanted to break, and times I just wanted out.  Most days I still feel that way.  It's just part of the process of parenting kids from hard places.

Today, I went to the dentist.  I love my dentist.  His staff is wonderful and he is wonderful.  I was reminded while having my teeth cleaned that Luke and I are doing a good job.  We're doing what the Lord called us to do.  It's not easy.  Not easy at all and in times it's downright impossible.  However, Lynn reminded me of something today.  She said, "It seems impossible to you, but that's so that you can say it was totally the Lord....not you."  It made perfect sense. 

This afternoon, as I sat doing my bible study in between making dinner and visiting with the kids, Asia spotted my bible open.  On one of the pages it said "Best of Parents."  I'm not sure what verses it was referring to in 1 Thesalonians, but she saw those words.  She read them out loud.  She looked at me and said, "You and Daddy are best parents.  You love us no matter what."  I looked back at her in tears and said, "Well, I'm glad you think that because sometimes I feel like I do a really crummy job."  She just put those blue eyes on me and said, "Well, even when you get mad, you still love us." 

So, when times in this whole process seem impossible, when I want to walk away from it all, and even when I say things to them I totally don't mean, they still see the big picture.  For today, in this hour,  it makes this process seem worth it.